As with many people in the United States, I was taught about Thanksgiving be a time to give thanks. A time where we came together and talk about Joy and Sharing. A tradition started by our ancestors when the pilgrims shared a meal side-by-side with the Native Americans…

We are finally starting to see the lies we were taught. We are finally starting to appreciate how even teaching this inaccuracy is part of the problem of perpetuating the repression of the true owners of this land. And we are starting to see the complexity of our position in this space.

While we are not directly responsible, we are living on land that was stolen. While we have invested all of our lives to build our lives here., How can we process that with integrity?

Many people tell me what the only way is to outright refuse to participate in this travesty of a holiday. This to me, however; felt like the way vegans yell at me about milk or honey. Or the way atheists talk about Christians. It is almost like, I don’t like it, so I will go full-force with the opposite. It felt wrong.

I reached out to a friend of mine, who is a native, to ask her take. In the tradition I study, this is a time to share with the ancestors. A time to celebrate, and I couldn’t see refusing to celebrate my learned traditions and my ancestors to be a way to recompense the natives who have been displaced. (Please note that this is intentionally made very mild compared to the truth.)

My friend told me that her family and nation do celebrate this time of year. And if I wanted to be in integrity with our native friends and family, we would still celebrate, we could make a plate for our ancestors, we would make a prayer and a wish for forward growth. If I wanted to do something beyond that, there are organizations that we could connect with by reaching out to your local reservation to offer to purchase meals for natives on the reservation that are still suffering the affects of our repression.

Each native tribe may have very different views on what is appropriate for how integrity can be reached. The point is that we ask, not assume. When we ask, allow ourselves to listen, allow ourselves to be humble, and allow ourselves to come forward with our best abilities to the request given.

I wanted to state this, do what you feel is right. But no matter which approach you take, remember that it is a time of caring, it is a time of celebration. If you wish to “repent”, please do so in a way that is helpful to those to whom you repent, and not simply something that eases your mind.

Wearing a safety pin on your lapel is only helpful if you can back it up with action when someone reaches out to you for help…