Category Archives: Sometimes, one thing, is everything

Ok, trying to find a fancy way to say, “I probably forgot to select the category”. But, to be truth, Everything IS the same, and one of something, is everything. So I am not lying.

Sometimes, one thing, is everything

Ancestry Alters

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One of the most beautiful things about the path of a Paq’o is the philosophy of: “Whatever works.” This means that the people who learned this path were aware that there are things that function that may not be perfectly described in history or lore. This allows for a beautiful open-mindedness when it comes to change and growth. When the Spanish took over the Inca’s, they were taught about Jesus and Christianity. And some of the Paq’os tried to leverage that. We have to pray to Jesus to stay safe, I wonder if my ceremonies will work if I invoke Jesus…? And some found that for them, it really did.

When my mentor taught us about this path, he introduced us to Ancestry Alters very early on, and was clear that this is not a traditional Q’ero process or belief. He had learned it from a Voodoo Practitioner and it had served him well in his shamanic path. After my time practicing, I too teach this to all of my students. It is invaluable as both a relationship building tool, as all as a support in the times that are the most difficult for you on this path.

Why? When I was thrown into this path, I was having incredibly vivid dreams. So real as to be surreal. And when I would wake up, I felt like I hadn’t slept at all. I was extremely tired, I couldn’t protect myself spiritually, and honestly, it really amplified my feelings of going crazy… When I connected with the fact that this could have to do with my spirituality, I reached out to my mentor to ask for help. And he informed me that I needed to set up an ancestry alter. It is a space I create for my ancestor to be present in this world. And by leaving offerings to them, you start building relationships with the spirits there, and you create a place for exchange. When I say that, please don’t hear anything about a transactional relationship. It is NOT transactional. There is a term that is very important to me called, Sacred Reciprocity. This term talks to the idea of a Gift Economy. I will do this work for you. It is a gift, and I have no expectation of return. And at times, those who receive that gift feel the overwhelming need to “balance the scales”. This can come forward as a gift in kind, or offering what they can to you or someone else in need. It is about offering what you can offer, for the fact that you can, and seeing how the energy can grow from there.

He instructed me that in creating my ancestor alter, I was connecting with a group of people (that have passed on) that have a clear interest in the success in my life. By having an ancestry alter, it is a means of connecting and creating relationships with people that are vested in your success, and are likely to offer you help once they know you can accept it. These do not need to be blood relatives, these do not need to be specifically people you ever knew. But people that you can have faith would have your back. On my alter, I have family members from both sides of my blood family. I have people that are close family of good friends who took me in. I also have spirits and deities that have informed me that they would like to be present (and I agreed).

How? I think the “how” here is a bit too obscure to really go into. How do you describe a relationship or reciprocity with any form of depth that people can really understand…? I don’t know if I can really describe to you the depths of how it works. What I can say is this. I can tell you how to create yours. I can help you learn to grow your alter, but I cannot tell you how to be the best build of those relationships, nor how to understand the gifts you have received.

To build your (most-minimal-starter) Ancestor Alter, you need a few things.

  1. At least 1 photo of an ancestor you would like present. (I recommend during this learning phase, select an ancestor you met if possible)
  2. You need 4 stones to anchor it. (There are no limitations or requirements on these stones. If you have the funds and enjoy shine crystals: Buy some. If you like walking on the beach, find four stones along the water that seem to call to you. They can be pieces of gravel that people think look funny, or they can be giant shaped amethyst crystals.)
  3. You need a piece of cloth maybe 20″x20″
  4. You need some sort of chalice. (yes, I mean drinking glass, but chalice is so much more fun to say.)
  5. You need a candle.

This will help you set up your start alter. Put the stones in the 4 corners of the cloth. Put your photo up, add water to your chalice, and light your candle. That is it.

I personally feel like there is a piece that was helpful for me to be at this alter, think of my ancestor(s) and offer time to hear/listen. Even if you never hear anything, the time is valued. For me, relationships are about reciprocity. I offer my time, presence, light, and water, and accept whatever they offer. From my experience, this exchange is SO much more powerful that seems possible.

And from here, I would say that you can do no wrong. If you feel like all four of your stones need to be in the center, or your photo(s) need to hang above the alter, or you need 2 chalices because your ancestors liked orange juice as well… change it up and see how it feels. If you have some abilities to sense or hear them, they might tell you clearly what you need to change… Also, a caveat I would add is to be cautious about what you put on there and offer. For instance, if you love bacon, but your entire like are vegans, that might not be the best relationship-builder. If most of your lineage is European-Caucasian, and you have Native Americans on your alter, Alcohol might insight some negative feelings.

I welcome you questions and insights from your work below.

Empowering Self, Sometimes, one thing, is everything

Thanksgiving

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As with many people in the United States, I was taught about Thanksgiving be a time to give thanks. A time where we came together and talk about Joy and Sharing. A tradition started by our ancestors when the pilgrims shared a meal side-by-side with the Native Americans…

We are finally starting to see the lies we were taught. We are finally starting to appreciate how even teaching this inaccuracy is part of the problem of perpetuating the repression of the true owners of this land. And we are starting to see the complexity of our position in this space.

While we are not directly responsible, we are living on land that was stolen. While we have invested all of our lives to build our lives here., How can we process that with integrity?

Many people tell me what the only way is to outright refuse to participate in this travesty of a holiday. This to me, however; felt like the way vegans yell at me about milk or honey. Or the way atheists talk about Christians. It is almost like, I don’t like it, so I will go full-force with the opposite. It felt wrong.

I reached out to a friend of mine, who is a native, to ask her take. In the tradition I study, this is a time to share with the ancestors. A time to celebrate, and I couldn’t see refusing to celebrate my learned traditions and my ancestors to be a way to recompense the natives who have been displaced. (Please note that this is intentionally made very mild compared to the truth.)

My friend told me that her family and nation do celebrate this time of year. And if I wanted to be in integrity with our native friends and family, we would still celebrate, we could make a plate for our ancestors, we would make a prayer and a wish for forward growth. If I wanted to do something beyond that, there are organizations that we could connect with by reaching out to your local reservation to offer to purchase meals for natives on the reservation that are still suffering the affects of our repression.

Each native tribe may have very different views on what is appropriate for how integrity can be reached. The point is that we ask, not assume. When we ask, allow ourselves to listen, allow ourselves to be humble, and allow ourselves to come forward with our best abilities to the request given.

I wanted to state this, do what you feel is right. But no matter which approach you take, remember that it is a time of caring, it is a time of celebration. If you wish to “repent”, please do so in a way that is helpful to those to whom you repent, and not simply something that eases your mind.

Wearing a safety pin on your lapel is only helpful if you can back it up with action when someone reaches out to you for help…

Empowering Self, Shadows, Sometimes, one thing, is everything

In Defense of Christians

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So many challenges lay before us. 2020 has been a year of chaos, pandemic, horrible leadership, reiterations of segregation and hate. I would jest with something like: “what’s next, locusts?” but then I realized that we have already encountered that problem.

Our world is in need, and we are all feeling the pain. Here is my recommendation: Be the change you want to see in the world. This is what all of us need. This is also what you might call, “The golden rule.” Treat others as you wish to be treated.

I know this is not easy, but we must look past ourselves to see that most people really do have good intentions in them.

Why am I posting about defending Christians? After 9/11, I was very vocal defending Muslims, and folks from the Middle East. And the reason was, there were actions of a few causing horrible consequences for the many.

Today, when I think Christians, my mind instantly goes to the figure heads, and politicians, and preachers with 12 million dollar homes. I see people who are standing up and utilizing the Christian label to get what they want, but not living with any of the faith. Right now, I find that the term Christianity is a term about finding more precise ways of delivering hate. And when I realized this was my outlook, I saw that I am part of the problem. We need unity. We need togetherness and team work. And we need to see eye-to-eye.

Almost no one in history has been willing to “come to the table” after you were just throwing stones at them. So what do we do? What do I do? I realize that these people who are turning Christianity into a rallying point for hate, are not actually following the faith of Christ. There are so many amazing and wonderful people in our communities that proudly wear the mantel of Christianity, and they do so by offering kindness and trying to see beyond themselves. These are the unspoken folks that Christ was actually much more in line with. Instead of taking the time to reiterate that the current far-right parties are aligning themselves as the only Christian party, or the only party of the church, we need to remember that we are deeply connected with so many actual Christians, who do not believe the hate, and won’t participate in it.

We must offer some grace. We must look past the anger and hate that these figure heads bring up in ourselves, as meeting hate with hate creates a battle. And with all battles, it rarely matters who is right or wrong, many people on both sides are hurt.

I invite you to look past your anger. I invite you to look past your hate. Find the folks in your neighborhood that allow you to take back the idea of love that this faith has to offer.

We, too, can choose not to hate. We must be better.

Empowering Self, Sometimes, one thing, is everything

Why is Coronavirus a concern? And how can we take power back?

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I think it is important that kids understand what is going on so they have the power to ask questions and process their own fears and concerns. And when I was thinking about this, I realized that I am not sure how many adults fully get why this is scary. I often see people continuing to go out to see people because they are bored, and it made me realize that it is possible that the severity of COVID-19 has not really been made clear. So I thought I would explain this, the way I would explain it to my kids. But please keep in mind, I find this information more scary than the horror movies from my childhood.

We can use basic math to understand the growth. But let’s talk about video games. Anyone ever played Piggy on Roblox?

The premise of this game is kind of like tag. If you are “it” you tag another player and make them “it”.

There are two modes I like to play on:

Bot/Player: With this mode, it means that there is a single person who is “it”, and they tag as many players as they can.

Infection: With this mode, it means that you start with a single person who is “it”. And after that, every person tagged also becomes “it”. The original “it” remains “it” too.

When we talk about Coronavirus, it is important realize that MOST people think about the outbreak as if this is on Bot/Player mode.

I created my graphs using Minecraft heads because they are easier to work with. 😉

So imagine that you have:

Steve
Alex
Zombie

Steve and Alex represent People who are not sick. Zombie represents people that are sick. If we were playing Bot/Player, this is what it would look like. Every day, the person who is it, could tag 100 people (Each Zombie is 100 people). If we had 500 players, by Day 5, we would have everyone tagged.

But Coronavirus, is much more like infection. So, game play is much more like this visual:

Every day, we have double the amount of people that can make you “it”. From playing Infection, we know that those games get over faster, and this is why. By Day 4, our 500 players and MORE are tagged. But a day sooner? That doesn’t seem so bad. But let’s look and see if we keep this rate up for a couple more days.

If we double every day, this is called “Exponential growth” it doesn’t seem so bad, until it is bad. Then it is really, really bad.

Let’s go straight to math.
If we compare this in a math chart, Bot/Player vs Infection:

Yes, I show my kids charts. But let’s talk about how to interpret this chart. This is saying, that from left to right (also called the X-Axis) is the number of days that have passed. From bottom to top (also called the Y-Axis) it is saying the number of players that have been “it” on a given day. So if you look at day 5 on the X-Axis, and scan upward, you see that the blue line (noted as the Bot/Player mode) would have less than 1,000 people having been “it”. But if you continue looking higher, you see the Red line (notes as Infection mode) is just shy of 2,000 people who have been “it”. So it shows how these two things grow differently over time.

The numbers that can be found on Johns Hopkins COVID-19 tracker (I find this information scary, but here is the link https://coronavirus.jhu.edu/map.html)

We can see that we are playing Infection.

Looking at the actual facts, the United States cases are doubling every 2.5 days (or so).

As of 10 am on April 11th, 2020, the United States has 501,680 confirmed cases.
Our Country has roughly 330 million in it. (https://www.worldometers.info/world-population/us-population/)

So that means, that if we do nothing, our entire country will be infected by early May.

This is very scary to me. This is SO real.

But let’s break this graph down. This graph shows the number of confirmed cases over time. We have factual data showing that we are starting today with about 500,000 cases, and every 2.5 days it doubles. So you see from left to right (X-Axis), the dates are listed as 4/11, 4/13, 4/16. This is because 11 + 2.5 is 13.5. And then 13.5 + 2.5 is 16. (The 13 just doesn’t show the extra .5) From bottom to top (Y-Axis), it is showing the number of confirmed cases in increments of 100 million. So this graph shows that with our current data, if we change nothing, the number of confirmed cases will match the entire US population by May 6, 2020.

So, we need to take this VERY seriously. But there is two things that are even more scary to me.

  1. Not everyone sick looks like a Zombie. Many people who spread the Coronavirus feel no symptoms. They don’t know they are sick. So they are spreading the virus, and think they are fine.
  2. 1 in 10 people who get sick, have to be hospitalized for this sickness. As we have no treatment for it, our hospitals have to simply do everything they can to keep patients comfortable.

Why is #2 scary? It is scary because there are roughly 400,000 hospital beds in our country. I am going to show you the chart from above, but divide numbers by 10, so you can see the number of confirmed cases that will need to be hospitalized.

How to interpret this chart: from left to right (X-Axis) we have the days from today, forward. From bottom to top (Y-Axis) we have the number of hospital beds that are full of a person with a confirmed case, broken down by 50,000 increments. So the blue line shows that every 2.5 days, that number doubles. So on 4/11, you see we start at roughly 50,000 beds full. On 4/13, you see that has tipped just over 100,000.

If we could easily get people who need a hospital bed, to a hospital bed, we would run out of hospital beds by April 18th, 2020. At that point, Doctors have to start choosing who they can to save.

How can we take power back?

First of all, the professionals are literally doing everything they can to solve this, so here is what WE can do, and what we MUST do.

You have heard these suggestions before, so I want you to understand how they actually help.

We have 3 kinds of people in relation to this virus.

A) People who could get sick
B) People who are sick
C) People who are no longer sick.

And what turn people who are could get sick, into people who ARE sick? Contact.

So, if we shaped it like a Math Problem:

If “People who could get sick” time “Contact with People who are Sick” is Greater than “People who are no longer sick” than our infection goes up. So it is Contact/Recovered must be < 1. So reducing Contact with Infected people is the ONLY way to help this problem. How do we reduce contact?

  1. Wash your hands frequently. Wash your hands like you were just cutting up Hot Peppers for Salsa and you need to go put in your contacts.
  2. Don’t touch your face. This infection can be air born, but you can also pick it up from touch things (Doorknobs, shopping carts) and it can get in your body from your eyes, nose, and mouth.
  3. Stay Home. By not going near people, you cannot possibly spread the disease.

These simple steps can slow down the spread. If we can slow it enough that the time it takes to double goes from 2.5 days to even 3 days, look how much it helps our problem.

Interpreting this chart: From left to right (X-Axis) we have the days, 1 by 1, from 4/11 – 4/21. From bottom to top (Y-Axis) we have the number of confirmed cases. The blue line shows us what it looks like when the infected follow their current 2.5 days to double. The orange line shows us what it looks like if we slow that down to every 3 days.

Follow the three steps above, could save MANY LIVES. Please take the power you can take, and follow the steps.

Empowering Self, Meditations, Sometimes, one thing, is everything

Pandemic, how I stay sane

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Considering the Stress and Anxiety that is flooding the community with the sudden changes that have happened with the pandemic, I wanted to share with you what I have been doing to stay energetically sane.

First of all: This situation is very real, and very serious. Please keep up-to-date with the suggestions of the CDC and follow them. Your state will have specific guidelines as well. For Michigan, it is: https://www.michigan.gov/coronavirus. We need to protect ourselves but know that follow basic guidelines like Social Distancing, Washing your hands frequently, and limiting when you leave home to essentials can save many-many lives.

There are four things I have been doing to help myself to stay sane.

  1. I do something that makes me feel accomplished. One thing I do that really helps is working on my home to-do list. Replace a not-so-great toilet, re-organize a kitchen that has been giving me grief, re-prioritize my list to get the highest value knowing I will be home for a while.
  2. Connect with People (safely). I am more extroverted than many of my friends and family, but even for introverts, it is essential to connect. How I do this, might not be what is good for you, but think on what is. I do family board games, and TV shows. I connect with video conference calls with friends and groups with whom I associate. This could be a group call to talk through a meeting you were planning, or simply grab a cup of coffee and spend some time past the chit-chat with a dear friend. Spend time connecting.
  3. Connect with the Earth. Whether or not you are spiritual, the process of following a grounding meditation will help you physically. I wrote up my favorite meditation for grounding, Try it: Tree (Roots) Meditation
  4. Shielding. This is the step I will write below, give it a go, and let me know if it is helpful for you.

Shielding: How to

Sit down as you do to meditate. Please remember to do this in a space where you feel safe so that you can allow your awareness of your surroundings to drop. You do not have to sit on the floor. If you are unable to sit on the floor, sit how you can be comfortable for a while. I personally feel better about sitting directly on the floor ~ Just do not let that slow you down.

Once sitting, check in with your body, and give yourself permission to let go. Know that nothing outside of this room, or this moment has to matter for a short time.

Close your eyes. Take a moment and focus on your heart. It doesn’t matter if you choose your physical heart, or energetic heart. Imagine a bubble appears in the center of you. It is so small that nothing can fit in side of it. Can you see it there?

Some things you should know about this bubble, it is absolutely impervious to anything you don’t allow through.

Once you see your bubble, hold it in mind; but switching your thinking to your breathing. When you inhale, imagine the air coming into your body is energy. Visualize this energy coming in your nose, it flows into your body and goes straight to your bubble. Give this energy permission to enter your bubble. You will notice that, as it is so small, the only way it can fit this new energy, is to grow. Visualize your bubble growing with the energy you are permitting in. As this bubble is impervious to anything you don’t allow through, it will push out anything clinging to you that is not your, and should not be there. (Your physical body is safe 😉 )

Breath in through your nose, Watch your bubble grow.
Breath out through your mouth, release any tension you find.

Visualize the outside of your bubble. What does it look like? Can you see through it? How thick/thin is it? Does it have a texture or design?

Breath in through your nose, Watch your bubble grow.
Breath out through your mouth, release any tension you find.

Now, repeat the previous two instructions. Don’t stop until you can see that your bubble is larger than you are.

What are your intentions for this bubble? What do you want to make sure it holds out? What do you want to make sure it holds in? How long do you want it to last?

Be very conscious when setting your intentions. These are boundaries you are declaring. Give yourself a specific time limit, it will fade if not tended to, so be specific.
“I want this shield to last until tomorrow morning, when I will do this again.”

Good luck to all of you out there.

Sometimes, one thing, is everything

Pick a cause, any cause… Or maybe, don’t

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I find that I can be completely moved by the bravery, energy, and audacity of some people on their missions to uphold and perpetuate the changes they want to see in the world. And yet, I can also be completely turned off and pushed away by others utilizing the same qualities.

I have an example here, but I want to give a standard caveat. I don’t like to generalize at all. This is about a specific instance, not about a group of people. And while I talk about an interaction with a Vegan, I am not speaking poorly of vegans, simply this person’s approach to their mission, without consideration to my missions.

When shopping at a local food store, an acquaintance of mine saw that I had milk in my cart, and they approached me to discuss how I was taking part of destroying the environment because she was the type of person that thought that the production of meat was destroying the Universe. She asked me if I didn’t care about the ozone, and all of the methane produced by cows. I told her that I can only care about so many causes. And she was aghast. How could you not care about this???

Here is the entire point of this post… You cannot care about everything, so I give you permission to tell these people in your life that you care about X, Y, and Z. And that you do your part where you can. You cannot own their mission, just because they brought it to your door step. I give you permission to say no, and hold compassion for that person.

What is your Mission? What activist beliefs do you carry? Do you want to help in politics? Do you want to help treatment of animals? Do you want to help educate youth on money? What good do you wish to do for the world? Pick one, pick two, pick as many as you truly care about. And I would like you to tack on, “And what are you going to do in order to take care of yourself, so that you can work on this item.” (I want to thank Jen Hoffman for that piece of wisdom)

If you select only one thing, and you find a way to help that in whatever small way, and you can take care of yourself to assure you feel good in the long run, you have just successfully stepped towards helping the world. And once you are here, there is no one who can guilt you into their mission because you purchased milk in front of them.

I would also like to point out that you might find that your day-to-day is more than you can do to even keep your head above water… If you are here, I would like you to take the time to acknowledge that you treading is a valuable actionable item. I would like you to still look into that second step: “And what are you going to do in order to take care of yourself, so that you can work on this item.”

Wishing you the best in this new year!

Shadows, Sometimes, one thing, is everything

Summer of Shadows

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I have found that my own shadows are not only what hinder me in my life, but the things that drive me to be better.  By honoring the challenges I have before me, I can do many things.

  1. (hopefully) work towards getting over behaviors that don’t help me.
  2. Learn more about me, and understand how my history has built me to who I am today ~ no matter how I judge each quality.
  3. They allow me to remember that we are all facing challenges that we may not yet be aware of.
  4. The shadows that I struggle with every day, remind me to hold compassion for those around me.

These are all remarkably powerful things.  

What do I mean when I say shadow? I see a shadow as any connection to an idea, item, person, or object that causes you to act in a way or make decisions that do not allow you to be your best self, or work in your best interest.

For instance: One of the shadows I am working with right now is Money. I grew up below the poverty line in Traverse City, MI.  We are a town with a pretty solid divide between the haves’ and have nots. My entire adult life I had been trying to buy what I want, when I wanted it because when I was poor, I couldn’t buy things… So, I found that I was buying things, that I couldn’t afford, so I wouldn’t feel poor, but those same actions were causing for it to be difficult to pay my bills, as if I were poor.

A side shot of this I need to address in my work, is the clear judgement I have in my own mind about being poor.  Let me be clear, I do not feel that there is anything wrong with being poor, nor do I feel that it says anything about you as a person ~ as most people do not choose poverty.  The negative connotations I hold with being poor are because the time in my life where I was fighting so hard to just to get by, was of the worst times in my life.  I associate poor with unhappy, and unable.

So to sum that up: Because I associate being poor with being unhappy and unable, I do not wish to feel poor. Because of this, I made choices to purchase things I could not afford.  Having purchased things I could not afford, made it harder to pay my bills, which made me actually poor.

As you can see, this ‘shadow’ around money, has been causing me to make decisions that were not working in my best interest.

Many of us have issues around money, so this may be a great example, or a horrible example.  You may have a huge issue with money, and look above and be like, I have no problem with “keeping up with the Jones’”.  The thing is, this is an aspect of my Money Shadow that is easy to talk about and many people will understand.  The more you look at one of your shadows, and finding its source, and trying to grow past it, the more you will see that the shadow runs deep and has many facets.

I tell you all of this because I have been working with so many people as of late who are so burdened by the shadows they carry, that moving forward on a day to day basis is feeling impossible.  Whether you are exhausted, peopled out, too damn broke, overdone, pent up, oppressed, or whatever.  These are ALL real and true issues, do not think I am minimizing your struggles.  But we are our own worst enemies, and frequently, the way we think, feel, or experience these issues, make them a larger problem than they are.  Your feeling, thoughts, and experiences are COMPLETELY VALID.  It can still be smaller than it seems.

You are the person who can deal with your shadows.  If you would like, I can help you to see them.  Know that I can hear you. I can hear your work, and your pain.  And because I have been working so hard on my own shadows, I will not judge you or yours.

We all need help sometimes, don’t hesitate to reach out.

Meditations, Sometimes, one thing, is everything

Tree (Roots) Meditation

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This meditation does many wonderful things for you. It allows you to connect to Pachamama (Mother Earth). It allows you to share and moderate energy with her. It allows you to ground your energy. It also allows you to give you some solidness in yourself. So many great pieces, I just wanted to share the “how-to”.

Sit down as you do to meditate. Please remember to do this in a space where you feel safe so that you can allow your awareness of your surroundings to drop. You do not have to sit on the floor. If you are unable to sit on the floor, sit how you can be comfortable for a while. I personally feel better about sitting directly on the floor ~ Just do not let that slow you down.

Once sitting, Take a moment, and ask consent of the Pachamama to share energy with her. (I have never gotten a No, but I think considering consent is always a good thing)
After establishing consent, Imagine a bubble of energy in your heart.
And focus on your breathing.
Every breath in, inflates that bubble.
Once you have inflated that bubble enough that it completely surrounds you, take a moment and simply breath normally.
Now that you are sitting inside this bubble, I want you to change the focus of your breaths.
Every breath in, we will create roots.

Creating Roots.
With your first breath in, I want you to imagine that the energy from your breath inward is forcing roots to appear at the base of your spine, and growing into the Earth.
With every consecutive breath in, I want you to imagine that the energy from your breath is growing those roots downward.
Deeper, and Deeper.
Imagine the feeling of the dirt, the sand, the stones, the sediment.
Imagine the different layers of the Earth.
Imagine that your roots go so deep as to hit the molten rock at the center of the Earth.
And once your roots find that, use your next breath to push your roots into it.

Every breath out, we will draw energy from the Pachamama through those roots, and blow that energy into your bubble.

After you have been doing this long enough, that you feel your roots have reached the core of the Earth, and your bubble is as full of Pachamama’s energy as you can take, make it so that every breath in takes air and energy from your bubble, and pushes it down your roots to the core of the earth. And also have every breath out takes energy from the Earth, and pushes it into your bubble.

When you feel that you are done with this meditation, use your breath to withdraw the roots from the soil. Use your breath to reduce the size of your bubble, and put it back into your heart.

Sit for a moment and feel your body before you stand.

Good luck!

Sometimes, one thing, is everything

Reality in love

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Faith is essential to your path.  Whether it is faith in yourself, or a partner, or a deity.  It is essential. But where does it cross a line?  When your faith pushes past your sense of personal responsibility, it has all of the sudden tipped the balance, and is no longer a positive driving force.  It becomes your shackles.

Let me give you an example of a real situation of the statement above.

A friend of mine was in a great relationship, and it seemed that everything was great.  And then her partner got laid-off. He quickly became very accustomed to having her pay for everything, and he didn’t seem super motivated to get a new job.  Despite the financial struggles they were starting to have, he was holding out for his dream job.  And after asking about how they are doing, they said, we are having some hardship, but God will provide when it is right.

I frequently hear “God will provide” when people are struggling.  It is intended to sound empowering, but I see that people give up their power to act, and allows “fate” to decide.  You have put your faith so strongly into this, that you have taken away your own ability to assure that it happens. And worse yet, when things come and pass, and you did not get what you wanted, you start to think you were not worthy of it, or worth it.  Which allows you to mentally give up. Making your faith, your shackles. God may be providing 5 great job opportunities for you right now, because he feels you need to get into a different field, but they were not even reviewed because they didn’t fit the mold of the “dream job”.

A great quote from Dave Ramsey was this, “God DOES provide, he provides the rain.  But you still have to sow the seeds!” This statement is exactly how I feel.  Your faith will provide you what you need, but you still have to work to get what you want.  Noting that, as a culture, have a hard time telling the difference between our wants and needs.

I have recently started taking note of conversations and interactions around finance, and I have heard many conversations about faith, people, and money. And when you put these three things together, our minds really complicate them, and that is why I thought to write this post.  No matter the circumstance, don’t let your faith become your shackles.  Take responsibility for your actions and thoughts, and act.  Once again, I can give you an example:

During a podcast I was listening to, a woman called in and stated that she was considering getting engaged to someone, but he made half as much as he did, and he was not very invested in actually managing his money responsibly.

From my experience, this is a very common issue.  One partner doesn’t see the same value in one thing or another, and money is frequently that thing.

Take a moment to think about what you would do in this situation.

No really, take a moment and think.

Many people would be shocked that the concern was even there, after all, Love will find a way.  But can I tell you what I feel the “right” answer is?  And note, there are a multitude of situations around everything, so my advice must be somewhat generalized.

Love, is a strong and complicated emotion.  And it can often make you not trustworthy to yourself.  I would recommend in this situation that you step back, identify the real concern, which is that you are concerned that your potential partner doesn’t know or care how to handle money properly.  And you are considering marriage.  Which means that your partner will not care about how your finances will be managed together.  This is a bad idea.

You need to take responsibility for yourself.  How do you remain a strong individual?  I know that sounds unromantic, but think about it.  How do you remain a strong individual?  If your concern is romance, think of this: if you are a strong individual, and you could do without your partner, you get to choose them every day.  You are not “stuck” together.  Your togetherness is a choice.

Which means that it is actually more romantic to keep your finances separate until you can trust that your partner will be as responsible with your money, as you are. Until then, build a Fuck-You-Fund (A fund of cash that you have access to that allows you to up and leave if you ever feel in danger), and give a fixed number of chances for your partner to come around to your goals.

Now, with that all out there, I need to be honest with you, that I can only say that my wife and I worked within these circumstances because she was lenient with a HIGH-NUMBER of fixed chances.  She was brave enough to do what I am asking of you, and she got a lot of grief for it.  She refused to marry me until my job offered medical insurance.  She was covered under her mother’s insurance at the time, and she was still in college. She was brave enough to put her goals out there and she made them an important part of OUR goals.  And if I had said, you should risk not having health insurance to be with me, I would expect her to step back, as I was not the right person for her. But that is not what happened, for a long time now, our relationship is based on us choosing each other, every day.

If you feel that your partner is not trustworthy with money, I strongly advise the following:

1)    Be honest and clear about your concerns.
It would sabotage your relationship to hold something this important as a barrier and not give your partner a chance to do something about it.
2)    Have a conversation about what each of you require of each other, as part of an agreement, before getting married.
3)    Be brave enough to step away, if your partner cannot hear your concerns.  It is unfortunately telling of many more things about the relationship.

Money is NOT more important that love, or people.  But when you are mixing your life with another person’s, your personal goals and long term well-being ARE more important than love, and other people.

When Love overrides your logical self-preserving fears, you are shackling yourself based on faith of… Your partner? What love should be? The idea of Marriage? You are being shackled by faith.

For this Valentine’s day, I challenge you to look deep into your partner’s eyes and say, “How are we doing on our retirement plan?”  Take some time to think about your own financial goals, where you would like to be, take responsibility for your own flaws, and talk about them with your partner.  Talk about your concerns for any flaws your partner has around money.  And together, move forward with a stronger feeling of togetherness by working to further your goals as a team. Give yourself the gift of choosing your partner every day.

Sometimes, one thing, is everything

Fear and Responsibility

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I have said several times within this blog that relationships are the core of what it is to be a Shaman.  Having the ability to make and maintain relationships with others.  Nice and Simple.

… Or not …

In order to have a solid relationship, I find it is helpful to think enough about the person/entity in that relationship, consider who they are, what has built them into the person that they have become, and listen to them.  Truly Listen.  Once you have listened, and heard, you can then try to honor who they are in being the best person you can be…

How can you be the best person you can be?  Telling you is easy, but accomplishing it, as expected, is the hard part.

Take full responsibility for your actions.  This may mean honoring your own history, and looking at the parts in your history that you may never want to think about again, and think about, in that moment, what responsibility do you hold?

Please note that the word responsibility is NOT interchangeable with the word blame. When you take responsibility, you think about anything and everything you could have done differently, to change the outcome. It gives you the power to no longer be victimized by the situation.  But, by going through your own mind, and thinking about addressing those fears, responses, fears, confusions, and fears…  Yeah, right… simple…

Another piece here, is you may not even believe that you have fear.  You may not believe you carry confusions… And here is what I have to tell you: Addressing you we do not feel that you can express a fear even to yourself ~ is your first task.

Good Luck