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This post refers frequently to Shadow, Read the post to learn what that means.

This is another question that I get frequently. Considering I use the phrase “the work” semi frequently and I really shouldn’t assume that people have any idea what that means. It is a phrase that is both very specific while being incredibly vague. I say this because when I am speaking about it, I am often referring to something that takes real effort, and is incredibly challenging, but I cannot or will not specify the specific task.

“The work” is the work a person does when they realize a contradiction in their own behavior, a place where their identity has pushed them away from the truth of who they are, a shadow, or even when they realized that they act in a way that they do not approve of because it is a default they were taught. Once you have recognized any of these potential contradictions, and gotten past any cognitive dissonance that may come up, deciding to make the changes to self to get past or find integrity in regards to the contradiction they found.

In the post about shadows, I used an example about my cruelty. My “work” around this was to recognize that there is a gap between a trait in myself, and the way I want to be portrayed. I had to find a way to embrace my cruelty. I needed to recognize that cruelty is actually a label I apply to a trait that I judged poorly. I needed to untangle that my ability to read people was used immaturely and it became cruelty. This is actually the same trait I now use to help people find truths that they might not want to hear, or help them feel safe in their own spaces. This work was mental gymnastics with a ton of guilt, shame, and many other complex emotions before I found a balance between my cruelty and my desire to help people.

In an attempt to be concise, The work is/are the challenge(s) you must overcome to balance out something that is true about you, that you judge cannot be part of who you present to the world around you.