It is Pride Month. The world is being flooded with marketing about how hip and cool the rainbow is. Be bold, show your “Pride”, wear a rainbow. And I find it to be blessing and curse as we walk forward because putting forward support for a marginalized group of people is always important, turning everything into a means of making money through marketing, is going to always end up being toxic for the people it affects.

First of all, to be clear: I am a Hispanic Straight Cisgender Male (HSCM). I have been working towards being an Ally since I learned I had friends that were part of the LGBTQIA+ community, and I started to see the privilege I had as an SCM. And how did I become a better Ally?

I actually remember a conversation with an acquaintance of mine and he asked me (rather aggressively) “What would you do if your child was gay?” I responded to him, “I would hope that they felt safe telling me.” … When my child came out to me, I realized that I needed to be BOLD in my Ally-ship. In order to combat my-own fears of them being confronted by the worst of society, I ordered myself a bunch of t-shirts, and flags. I hung our flags in the front of our house, I started frequently wearing different shirts making sure that everyone I saw knew I was safe for anyone in the community. And most importantly, I tried to make my actions evidence of the ally-ship that my shirts promised. From there, it is pretty easy. I remain open to learning, I remain open to being wrong, and being able to hear that I can be wrong. I listened to hear. I listened to grow.

And if you need to hear it:

If you have a friend/family member/coworker come out to you, make sure they know that you care. Whoever/Whatever they tell you they are, be clear that you still feel the same way about them. I think one of the largest fears is that them being who they are will break any relationships they have. (This is from what I have gathered, I don’t mean to speak for anyone in the LGBTQIA+ community.) But I also want you to know that being an ally does not mean that you can’t make mistakes. I still make a TON of mistakes. And when you do, acknowledge it, apologize, and see how you can grow. Then do the work to actually grow from it.

One of the ways that I would say that being an Ally is spiritual is because it requires you to find integrity in yourself, and hold the constant ability that there is something bigger out there that you can choose to be part of. In order to be an Ally, I cannot turn it off when I take off my rainbows. I need to be bold and visible in being an Ally in December, just like I am in June.

Being aware that we all wear masks when we are around different groups of people has the full weight of making sure that the pieces of yourself that are truly in integrity with yourself are the ones that are true no matter which masks you wear. It requires a strength and forcefulness that most people hesitate around. I am actually pretty good with conflict, but I hate it. I know that standing up is scary, AND I know that staying seated perpetuates oppression.

Another way being an Ally is spiritual is that it requires you to learn and grow all of the time. You cannot start with a belief you cling to. You must accept the awareness you currently have, and be open to it changing when new information becomes available. (It is actually the same as Science. X is truth, until we find Y, which is proven by better science.)

One more item that I feel the need to state clearly, being an Ally is spiritual because as I learn more about spirit and people, I see that we are all the same. We are all individual lives that want to be seen, heard, loved, and have some basic rights. I often say that my religion is Relationships. This is because Relationships are one thing in this world that is worth constantly growing and learning to improve. There is so much to be gained to everyone involved when we are all working towards that sacred reciprocity that comes from sharing caring-gestures with another person. To me, this says that taking of my blinders, and acknowledging that I have it easier than other people, and willing to do what I can to help people without expectation of return ~ is literally my religion. So in a way, being an Ally is part of my faith, and happens to come with epically beautiful t-shirts.